| making loving out of nothing like the air supplier said |
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[04 Jan 2009|09:39am] |
heard about it last night at the bar from former co-workers. it was on msnbc.com today...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28485556/
i used to work with that guy. he worked in the storeroom of arnaud's. he killed his son so he wouldn't have to pay child support. wow...none of us ever thought he was capable of that.
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[09 Dec 2008|07:16pm] |
my grandmother died today...my mom's mom...from pancreatic cancer...the same thing...i don't even know how i feel right now
she suffered a lot more the past few days than my mom did, though. my mom's downfall was so quick..literally hours. hers was days, so in that way, i'm glad it's over for her.
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| thanksgiving |
[27 Nov 2008|10:32am] |
we do a late lunch.
my uncle has a button that he wears every year since forever that says official turkey taster.
i miss the spinach bread that my grandmother used to make to pass around before we sat down for lunch.
my grandfather smokes 2 turkeys. we pick on one until everything is ready and we sit down for our actual meal.
my thanksgiving dinner doesn't usually consist of turkey, or any meat for that matter...i just eat a bunch of sides.
we have my grandparents, their 4 sons, their 4 spouses, my dad, all 15 grandchildren will be there, 9 spouses/boyfriends, and now 10 great-grandchildren. that's a total of 45 just my immediate family. and there will be relatives of spouses there too.
we put tables end to end so it is like we are all sitting at one big table. my grandparents are at one end and the other end is "the kids table". yes, we fit 50 people around one continuous table.
this will be my grandparents last thanksgiving. we can tell that my grandmother has been holding on for this. not sure if she will be able to hold on through christmas, though we all know she wants to. after that i think she will think it's ok. and once she goes, i don't expect my grandfather will survive a month without her.
it's days like these i miss them most. and that would have been without waking up from a dream they were both in...which has never happened before.
for me thanksgiving really marks the beginning of the holiday season. so...happy holidays. and really...do we need to send mass texts to people we haven't spoken to in months wishing them a happy thanksgiving? i think not. i've already gotten a handful...was actually what woke me up this morning.
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| ever after happily |
[13 Nov 2008|03:44pm] |
well that’s the way the fairy tale goes
boy meets girl and they wed with roses
but that’s not the way it seems to be
and I’m pissed that they lied to me
cuz boy meets boy and boy runs away
or girl meets girl and she’s afraid to stay
we end up home alone watching court tv
not living ever after happily
the chorus of my current fave song. not even sure why it is right now; i just love the chorus. i am so in love with jay brannan (have been for a long time). someone tell him to come marry me.
i love it so much i decided to make it easy for you to listen to it. download!
http://www.sendspace.com/file/paa24z
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[06 Nov 2008|02:59am] |
i once wanted to write an entire book on post-it notes. and if it ever got published i wanted the beginning of every chapter to be written on a drawn post-it. i guess you could say i've always just kind of loved post-its. i would buy them even if i had no use for them because i liked the color combinations.
my room is set up a bit odd. the stairs open straight into my bedroom. the wall behind the stairs is what i look at while i'm at my computer. it blank...white. i'm going to make a mosaic out of post-its. the debate is do i strictly make it color? or do i use the post-its first...like write a quote or have people leave me messages or drawings and then put them on my wall? input is welcomed. will post pics as i do it and when i am finished. (that is a down to having the post-its be used first...it will take me a lot longer to finish)
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| mere |
[16 Sep 2008|02:16pm] |
my grandmother is amazing. she will be 92 in november (grandfather is 93). she has had pancreatic cancer for almost 2 years, been through chemotherapy. she's not on it now...it stopped working, and the tumor that is wrapped around her esophagus is growing and she can't eat or drink much. thus, she was admitted to the hospital a few days ago.
and she still remembers and calls me from their cell phone for my birthday. and no, it wasn't that someone reminded her. she's just that amazing.
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| what's new |
[15 Sep 2008|09:21am] |
jacqueline comes home today!! haven't seen her since before we evacuated for gustav. many of y'all know the drama we've been through over the years that we've known each other. i don't think either of us ever expected to be in this place with each other. but she's my best friend. and i'm so excited to see her today. leaving soon to go pick her up at the airport.
shawn and ashley may have broken up for good. i know i know. this weekend is allissa's birthday party, so it won't be done before that, but it's over between them.
tomorrow's my birthday! starting celebrations tonight at erin rose. tomorrow will be at the pub, duh. i'm performing drag, and also performing as a girl. my name is gonna be emma flirt. because yes, i am a flirt. :)
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[06 Sep 2008|12:35am] |
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it feels soooooooooooooooooooooooooo good to be home. :)
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[30 Aug 2008|06:56pm] |
it's strange how much facebook and myspace have changed everything. i find myself consistently checking, looking at everyone's updates to see where they are, or where they're headed. We didn't have that 3 years ago. Yes, we had myspace and facebook, but there was no constant in your face status updates. In this case, I'm very thankful for it. It is overwhelming, though, when you read through 70 updates, every single one referencing Gustav, Katrina's name comes up often too. two of my friends have even posted blogs on myspace keeping a tally of where everyone will be. Louisiana, Texas, Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, even Illinois...I know people who have gone to each state. It's kind of scary to think about...in the span of 36 hours, all of my closest friends will be spread thousands of miles apart...not sure when we'll get to see each other again.
of course this conjures memories from katrina...i miss my momma.
i don't know if i'm gonna be able to hold it together in covington. i'm gonna need lots of beer.
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[29 Aug 2008|07:07pm] |
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will people quite freaking out about this damn hurricane already?!?!?!?!?!?!?! seriously...it's getting annoying.
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[07 Jul 2008|03:52am] |
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my life falls apart when she's not in it.
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[05 Jul 2008|02:59am] |
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i have the worst fucking headache i can ever remember having.
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[20 May 2008|07:29pm] |
doing shake it by metro station tonight in drag. then i'm taking a 2 month hiatus. too much bullshit. i was going to quit, but then on the way to our meeting i heard a song i had done in drag and realized i really do enjoy it (and the money certainly doesn't hurt).
oh my casey, i need to e-mail you.
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[07 Apr 2008|03:28am] |
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i've been getting weird signs lately telling me everything will be okay, but it just makes me feel more like it never will be.
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| 34 degree difference in a little over 24 hours |
[21 Jan 2008|07:58am] |
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the current temperature in new orleans right now is 37 degrees, feels like 29. tomorrow the high is predicted to be 71 degrees. wtf! that's almost double. and that is ridiculous.
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[24 Dec 2007|11:26am] |
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merry christmas? last year a distant cousin of mine who lost her mom around my age too said christmas wasn't the same for her until she had kids of her own. i didn't pay much attention to it...last year i was still in a daze, but i think i believe it.
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| stupid survey making me cry at 10:30 in the morning |
[16 Dec 2007|10:25am] |
someone posted a survey and one of the questions was: think about the last person close to you that died... if you had the chance to give them an hour of their life back but you had to give up a year of yours, would you?
if i got to spend that hour with her...absofuckinglutely. i really would.
i miss her.
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| i just miss her is all |
[30 Oct 2007|05:59pm] |
at the services we had these really large canvases that she had actually painted and had a border around the edge, and we put lots of pictures up for everyone to look at. this was my favorite of her and me from them.
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[29 Oct 2007|12:09am] |
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i want to start writing again...but i'm afraid. of what i'm not sure...i guess opening that door to feeling. the last time i wrote was over a year ago...a silly poem when i was crushing on shawn the first time.
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| a week tomorrow |
[24 Oct 2007|02:41pm] |
My shoulder is in excruciating pain. It started with stress, and then I slept on it wrong last thursday night. It's been getting progressively worse since. I wonder if it's sympathy pains to this time a year ago. My mom had cancer spots on the bone under where the muscle hurts me now. She was going through radiation for it...up until she went into hospice. I even rode with her in the ambulance when they came for her in the hospital to take her to radiation. I briefly talked to a friend the other night. She realized what the timing was for me and said she remembered getting the phone call from me saying my mom went home with hospice (she was a co-worker and she told the boss for me to expect me out for a while)..and she remembered me being in complete denial.
I think part of me still is. It's why I won't go to Covington, or let myself think about her.
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